I don’t want to talk.
Not cause I lack words,
Not because I do not have confidence
But for the fact I wouldn’t be listened to.
I fear my words would be used as an instrument against  me.
So I don’t want to talk .

I don’t want to dance.
Not that my legs can’t move to the rhythm,
or my hips can’t sway from side to side,
But for fear and mockery from the ones I call friends.
So I don’t want to dance.

I don’t want to sing.
Not that my voice isn’t a melody like the angels,
Not that I can’t reach each note in hallelujah,
But the fact that I might not please my audience with my style.
So I don’t want to sing.

I don’t want to think of this.
Not because of the self pity and self shame I’ll feel for not doing things.
But because I know the word I would say to myself.




I’ve evaded this topic for so long for reasons best known to me, but would it hurt if I say one or two words?
Gender equality we call it, but are we fighting for it the right way? Or we just want to switch gender positions.

Every woman wants to be given equal opportunity as every man out there. Every woman wants to be her own boss without being labeled by society.

Take a chair, sit and listen. As humans we are born to freedom and so should live free, with this understanding we got rid of slavery. So also each gender has its responsibility.


I think the fight for gender equality is for women to be treated fairly in the society and not for them to take the position of men in that society. If a man slaps his wife there is a cry of gender abuse, but what happens when the woman does the slapping? Should the man keep quiet because he is a man and pretend like he wasn’t abused too?

Or why is it that when a man is raped nothing is said about it with the notion that he probably enjoyed it.

I just feel as women you were made to be loved and cared for. Admired by many but belong to one who cherishes and threats you right. I think this is were the fight is, the fight to keep women safe from animals among men. The fight is not which sex holds political offices or which sex makes decisions around the home.

Women strive to grow your potentials to the fullest as women and not carrying the burden of men. If care is not taken roles would change, women would always pay the bill on a date, always provide for the husband and the children. From my point of view that’s what’s going to happen and guess what in years to come men activist would rise and we would be having this same fight over again.

Let’s fight right and smart. The world is big enough for both sex.



Wait a second, then a minute till it turns to an hour, before you realise your whole day is gone. Days roll by, followed by months, even years slip through our fingers and we wonder what we’ve achieved over those periods.

Well, I’m waiting at the bus station for the bus going Abuja. Today wasn’t all that I expected, I got beaten by rain on my way to the bus station and now my trip has been delayed by an hour or so.

I wouldn’t say I’m not happy about the whole delay thing because I really hope he shows up or calls before I depart. We had our first fight in ages a week back and we’ve not spoken since then.

Dele and me have been best of friends for over ten years now. We met in our senior year in high school when he helped me get back on my feet emotionally after the death of my mother. After that moment he became my best friend and we went almost everywhere together. Fortunately for us we got admission into the same university and we finished together.

Two months after graduation Dele introduced me to Louis; a girl he met at a family gathering and before long they started dating. Time after time Dele missed out on our appointments and I began getting worried or would I say jealous.

I shoved every thought aside with the notion that we were friends and not a couple, but I guess when you stay with someone for that long you hope to be something more. I’ve accepted before now that I do have feelings for Dele but I couldn’t be more than just a friend to him and I was cool with that.

I watched as Dele faded away into another woman’s arms and I watched in silence. I organised a get together for the both of us a week before now just to spend my last moment with him before I left for Abuja to serve my country.
“Oh that’s a lovely idea, I’ll love to see you. We have some catching up to do”
He said filled with excitement over the phone.

I waited in the restaurant which we both decided to go for a while, I wasn’t annoyed because I got there a little early. Well what seemed like a minute turned into an hour and I decided to call.
“Oh sorry dear I had to meet up with Louis to take her dog to the vet. I’m really sorry” he said in a low  tone.

That was it, ive had enough of all this. If Dele was going to be blind I’m going to open his eyes for him this very moment without hesitation I screamed over the phone.
“Dele what’s wrong with you? We’ve been together for what now, ten years? And you cannot read simple signs. I never you were dumb but never thought it was this serious. I love you Dele, but sure you’re too stupid to notice and even if you don’t feel the same way, it doesn’t mean you should stand me up for a dog” I didn’t know when tear drops left my eyes. I stormed out of the restaurant ready to leave for Abuja and never probably return.

It’s one week now and I’ve not heard from Dele, is he mad at me? Well I’ll never find out because my ego wouldn’t let me call. My bus is ready to leave and there’s no call from him, maybe he forgot I’ll be leaving today, I tried consoling myself that I’ll be better of without him.

The driver starts the bus and we are ready to move, when I saw a glimpse of  someone. Tall, dark and a well build body,With his afro which brought out the fine artistry of his face I knew it was…..”Dele !!!!!” I shouted from the window of the bus, I’m glad I picked this seat. He turned looking for who called on him when he sighted me he started running towards the bus.

“Driver driver stop” I motioned and shouted at the driver to stop his bus. As he did I alighted the bus hurriedly, running towards Dele.
” I’m sorry about everything, and you’re right I’m really blind. I just thought you weren’t interested in me and I didn’t want to put our friendship on the line” he said as he let go of me.
” I’m sorry too for the way I acted and the things I said I was just really angry. What about  Louis?” I don’t know what I was expected asking that question but I was ready for any response.

His phone rang as he was about to reply and from the look on his face he seemed relieved. He cut the call after a while ” It’s  Louis, she just broke up with me”
“What? Why?” I asked in disbelieve. I don’t know why someone would want to break up with Dele.

My driver by now was tired of waiting he dropped my luggage and off he went. Dele explained his relationship with Louis with me, apparently they’ve not had the most entertaining time  together.
“Well I’m sorry once again” he apologised for the like hundredth time today.
“I’m sorry also” I responded every time he apologised.

He drove me home cause it was already late and I would have to travel tomorrow. Today didn’t turn out bad  after all, he kissed me goodnight and as I close my eyes to sleep I’m sure of sweet dreams. This should be the beginning of my love story.



To my lover,
When the day comes when I’m far away,
And you’re taken by another because you couldn’t wait,
When your heart does not belong to me no more,
And I can’t wipe the tears off your face
I hope you remember my love.

To my friends,
When the bottles go dry,
And the conversation cold.
When we stay cities apart,
And the time isn’t the same.
Hope you remember that I care.

To my son,
When my days are gone and my body decays,
When my eyes shuts and my mouth sealed,
When my heart stops and my lungs don’t breath.
I hope you remember my name.

To myself,
When you’ve made an impact,
And the world trembles at your name.
When you’ve conquered life,
And you’re fulfilled in your old age.
Just remember your mom,
For she was by your side, your solid rock.



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I sat in a corner of my room and read the text from my son’s kidnapper. They wanted some documents that belonged to my late husband. I knew about these documents but I had no idea where they were kept. I pleaded with them that they take money instead but they refused. I knew he didn’t keep the documents at home, that I was sure of. I was very confused and had no idea what to do.

He must have told someone where he kept it at least but who? Apart from myself,  the only people he was very close to was his mother and childhood best friend, David. I got up, picked up my car key and drove to his mother’s house. His little sister, Ash opened the door and I walked in.

“Is mother home?”

“Yes in her room”

I ran up the stairs to his mother’s room. She laid in her bed reading a book and sat up as I walked in. She motioned for me to sit and she held my hand.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine mother, I got a text from Dylan’s kidnappers today,they want the documents. He must have told you about some documents. Where are they?”

She looked at me sadly and spoke

“I know of the documents, they have been passed from generation to generation but where they are, I know not of”

I couldn’t stop the tears that came running down my face. I lost my husband at such a young age and I had no idea where my son was. I cried for some time then got myself together.


“Yes daughters”

“You have to know where it is mother,you have to know” I squeezed her hands, she pulled me closer and held me in her arms.

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I woke up and saw that I was cuddled up in mother’s arms, it was some minutes to 8. Mother was sleeping peacefully and I didn’t want to disturb her so I quietly slipped out of her arms and went downstairs. Ash was watching a movie with a bowl of popcorn and orange juice. I sat beside her and she held my hand reassuringly.

“Everything will be fine okay?”

” I hope so  I miss my son so much” I said shaking with fear

“We’ll get him back, we all miss him”

“I should go now”

“You should sleep here, for the company”

“I want to go see David”

I got into my car and drove to David’s house, we all lived in the same estate. His wife, Rachel opened up the door. She pulled me into a hug as soon as she saw me.

“Oh Rebecca I was thinking of you just now”

She ushered me in, got tea to drink and sat beside me.

“How are you holding up?”

“I’m trying Rachel, this is hard. I miss my son so much”

“I’m so sorry Becca, we’ll find him”

“Where is David?”

“He got back not long ago,, he’ll be down in a moment”

We made small talk before David came down.

“David I need to speak to you, my husband he told me about these documents, the kidnappers want it. You both were really close,you should know we’re he kept them “. I rushed him with my words without even asking how he was.

He looked at me thoughtfully. I had hope he knew where they were.
“So you want to hand them over to the kidnappers?”
“I don’t know, I’ll do anything to have my son back”
“Do you really understand the value of these documents”
I sighed and looked at him pleading with my eyes. “I’m sure my son’s life has more value”
“I can’t Becca, we have to find another way”
Rachel spoke “David her son’s life is in danger, how can you say this?”
He sighed, stood up and walked to me then held my hands “Allowing you to give those documents to the kidnappers will be betraying your husband and the legacy his ancestors left behind”
I looked at him shocked, did he really think I just wanted to hand over the documents?

“Oh God David, but I never said I was going to just give them the documents, we’ll work out a plan but I need to have it at least as a proof”
He looked at me and thought for a while “What If the plan backfires?”
“We’ll have backups. I need my son”
He went back to sit and stayed silent for some minutes
“The documents are not in Nigeria”

It felt like the walls came crashing on me, I just wanted to die. Why did you do this Dane? You could have at least told me, your wife. You could have trusted me, look at the burden you have left me with. Our son is in danger and I have no idea where he is. Dane I love you so much and I wish you could have trusted me, this would have been a whole lot easier, maybe you’d still be alive. I don’t know how to go on, I don’t know how to move on. If you’re listening Dane, if you’re listening, please let me have our son back.  I didn’t realize I was crying until Rachel came closer and wiped my tears.

“I know this must be very hard on you and even though I could never fully understand, I’m a mother and I understand the pains of a mother.” She turned to David “who will get it?”

“I don’t know”

I looked at him shocked. “You don’t really expect me to leave the country in these circumstances. I know you don’t”
“I can’t leave at this time either Becca, with Dane’s sudden death the office is in chaos. I need to get things together”

“Jesus, David” Rachel screamed “who would have thought?  Your best friend’s son is in danger and you talk about work? If you can’t do it for his wife then do it for him, for that little boy”.

” Wake up dear” I heard my husband as he tapped me. I ran to my little boys room to realise he was still there. With a sign of relieve I went to bed in realisation that it was just a dream.




images (14)“Maami” he said in disbelieve, I could see the confusion in his eyes it seems no one had called him by his real name in quite a while. He ran down the elevation where he stood, grabbing me into his embrace. Tears stream down my face as I realised I’ve missed him, I missed his graduation, I missed his whole life. Then he let go of me looking me in the eye telling me not to cry that he was here now and he was here to stay.

We left the market, immediately he brought his campaign to an halt, as we moved in the vehicle to his house fresh tears flowed down my cheek. I’ve never been in a vehicle other than the regular bus I enter whenever I’m going to market every morning. This comfort and sudden change was too much for me to take in at once.

We got into his house, a well-furnished duplex with pictures of him and his family all over. He had two kids, a boy and a girl the boy seems to look like his mother and the girl him. “maami please have your seat” he said motioning to me to seat, it was then I realised I’ve been standing with my mouth wide open.

“what happened to you all this years? Who got you kidnapped? How did you survive?” I rushed him with my questions as the maid served me a meal of pounded yam and egusi which was my favourite and he remembered. “well it’s a long one but it’s all good” he said seating upright. I could see the pain in his eyes as he struggled to keep his bold appearance as he told his story.

“when I was taken away from your arms as you fell after you got hit on the head, I was taken to a dark room where I was fed with just water and stale bread for three days. On the third day a man came and bought me for a sum I don’t even know but it seemed large. For a while I thought I was going to be used for rituals, it scared the hell out of me.
We got to my buyer’s house and I saw he had a room already prepared for me which surprised me. At dinner two days after my arrival he told me his real name was Tunde Aderomu and he was my father. Initially I thought he was just saying that to make me comfortable with him but then he showed me pictures of both of you together and said a lot of things about you.

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He explained how he had to run away from town because apparently your parents knew you were pregnant before you told them and they had threatened him. When he had settled down and made an earning for himself he sought to pick you alongside me from the village but once again he was rejected with the claim that he brought shame and disgrace to the family. So he decided to take me by force, if your parents wanted you to suffer he wasn’t going to allow his own child suffer.

From that moment he took care of me and had my name changed to David so no one would be able to find me. I attended one of the best schools in the country and travelled out for my university education.

On getting back I pursued my political career got married to Folakemi and know blessed with two kids Jeremiah and Sarah who was named after you mother . Dad died a year after my marriage from cancer”

he said know looking sad that he lost his father, they were really close I could see now.

“But you never came back for me?” I couldn’t help but ask, the thought that my joy forgot me has started hunting me.

“I did but when I got to the village I was told you moved after the dead of your parents and no one knew where you went” this time giving me a hug and I begin to cry again.

While we were still hugging his wife came in with my grandchildren. We were introduced and before long they were all up in my space asking various questions.

As the sun sets tonight I’m annoyed at the fact that my own parents caused me such pain and took a secret to their grave and now I miss Tunde but I’ve finally forgiven him for he had no choice.

I’m glad to be reunited with my son in his enlarged state. My sorrow has turned to joy and my darkness to morning. I close my eyes to sleep knowing I’m waking up to a new and better day.

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This is the end of His Mother’s Joy. Thank you for reading.