MR PRESIDENT

 

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” madam please can I have my change for the last time before I tear this place down” a man with a native attire asked the woman at the counter, from his accent and  dressing I’m guessing he’s a Yoruba man. “I’ve given you your change Mr man yet u claim it’s bad is there anything like bad change, oga abeg shift let me attend to someone else” the woman replied in annoyance.

Apparently this two had been going at this for about twenty minute now and it’s just  amusing watching them argue over good and bad change as if the government in power hasn’t shown us the clear difference between the two types of change. Then an interview on the television at the side of the bar  caught my attention.

“Mr president, what do you have to say about the current devaluation of our nation’s currency” the journalist in charge of the interview asked our newly elected president Boo-her-ri who since this year began refused to sign the years budget.
“Well I do not have anything much to say about that but I know that we would  bring back our girls and fight the ‘boko her ram’ insurgence,  fighting corruption is our soul agenda and that, we shall accomplish”

“Mtcheeewwee” I hissed as every word which came out of Mr President mouth irritated my every existence. Would I call it ignorance? How would you ask a grown up individual a simple question and he diverts with such length? How does the nation’s currency affect terrorism? I picked up my things in annoyance as I headed out of the bar.

It’s one week now since the interview issue and I think everything is calm although the exchange rate keeps fluctuating but it’s all good. I got to work with the price of things being normal (even if things are more expensive I guess we can call it normal now)  putting on my TV to receive the bomb that’s not being released by any terrorist group but by Mr President, the cost of fuel per litre is now #145 from #86.

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I feel the urge to tell my workers to go home but man must “chop”. The day came to a close and now I’m on my way home, I thought of buying the regular for my kids but when I asked the store woman, the price had increased twice the original price “ahn ahn madam because of why ?” I asked In surprise “no oo!!! You see oga the thing is that the price of fuel has increased” she said so confidently. Wait ooo let’s look at it this woman had this goods in her stall for a while now and fuel just increased this afternoon so how did the price increase? With frustration I zoomed off to my house.

While enjoying the cool breeze of the evening at least it hasn’t been affected by the recent increase of fuel my son walks up to me. “Daddy this is a letter for you from school” collecting the letter with pride, knowing that I owed the school no money. Opening the envelop still filled with pride but on reading the content I saw that the school fees had been increased, the annoying part of the letter was the ending as it reads “this improvement is due to the current increase in fuel price”. Oh no it’s affecting education to.

Well since IKDC refused to give an innocent soul power I put on my generator. It’s dinner time and I noticed my usual 3 piece of meat wasn’t in my meal tonight, instead I had two big bones with flesh coating it. Trying to be calm I asked my wife ” honey what’s up tonight? It seems like one piece of meat stayed behind in the pot” she smiled at me with innocence then gave me the shocker of the night ” my love it’s because of fuel you know…….”
“It’s now #145” I completed her words for her. We ate dinner in silence that night and before long we were done.

I stayed up to listen to the evening news when I heard a knock on the door, rushing down I asked who it was then my neighbour replied.

“What could this man want?” I asked my self as I went down the stairs. The answer to my question was soon answered as he asked “oga “Plex” can I charge my phone in your house”.

Suddenly it dawned on me, then a smirk creeped through my face as a told him ” Mallam please no, not tonight, as you know the price of fuel has increased” I could see the shock in his eyes as he asked “but oga why?” Since the current situation in the country  has found a way of affecting me even on my dinner table I told him “ask your president”……

 

BBM CHANNEL: C00384F67

N.B : Every character in this story or any other is highly fictional. If the content of this story replates to you it’s simply coincidence and no picture belongs to me I got them from Google, thank you.

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33 thoughts on “MR PRESIDENT

  1. Lol I was so excited.. Like a dad is blogging too!!
    Then I saw it was fiction *sad*
    Hilarious writeup.. Gave me a reason to smile despite how bad things are turning out to be in the country

    Like

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